September 14, 2015 - Men Only

Strangely, I’m asked a particular question on a regular basis.

It may be asked in various forms and fashions, but it’s always the same: I messed up with my girl — what should I do?

Understand that for the purpose of discussion we’re not talking about cheating on one another, but rather making mistakes that are otherwise hurtful.

The reason I bring this up is that because it’s an important topic of conversation for anyone contemplating marriage, or who has just become married, or who has been married for years, or who thinks they may someday be married, or knows someone who has been married.

It’s an important question because it fits into how we relate to one another. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been married, we still make mistakes and they still require attention.

Men often don’t understand that what they consider to be complexity in a woman that is not complexity at all. The women who love us want to spend time with us. It’s that simple. What greater blessing could there possibly be?

Oftentimes we try to make it more than this, and sometimes it is for whatever reason. For example, perhaps we’re spending too much time working on the car, or the yard, or with friends, or with a hobby, or working, etc.

But other times it may simply be our presence that the women in our lives seek. Believe me there are worse things that could happen and have someone love you so much they just once you sitting next to them.

From time to time we may discover a mistake we’ve made to upset our wives, to disappoint our wives, or to simply fall short of an expectation.

It’s our personal nature to defend ourselves, to stand up for what we’ve done, to point out the good things with accomplished or our positive traits. But none of this matters, and the reason that none of this matters is because our wives already know these things.

So when we mess up what do we do? That’s the point of this blog and its simple. We apologize and try to do better.

This makes some guys angry as if it’s a compromise or an infringement upon their freedom to answer to their wives. That is not at all what I am referring to. I’m talking about being a good husband who cares about how his wife feels and wants to make sure she knows how much he loves her, even if it means giving up some things that he wants to do, which in the grand scheme of life, are meaningless.

Not all misunderstandings require an apology. Often simple, respectful, considerate conversation will diffuse an explosion and ignite true passion.

Don’t waste your life trying to prove your point. Otherwise you might just as well follow Joel Osteen over a cliff and into the sea. At least you’ll be wealthy until you hit the water.