I sat quietly in my car, parked in the garage.
In the past I’d learned that giving myself a moment to think cleared my head, but this time I couldn’t get it together.
Everything I’d ever learned couldn’t bring comfort or help me understand what I was supposed to do—or what God wanted of me.
The world moved forward without me, but I didn’t mind. I no longer felt a part of it, as if remaining frozen in time would ease the pain or dull the reality of what had happened.
Noises from outside the garage intruded into my thoughts as my neighbors busily began their day.
For a moment, I considered not going to work. After all, I hadn’t gone for two months. I never expected to be where I was—alone in my car, alone with my thoughts—alone.
But the reality slowly sank in—the pain didn’t mean I was alone. The fact was that I had many people praying for me, supporting me, telling me how much they cared even though they were hurting too.
Oftentimes we allow Satan to usher us into a place we don’t belong. More accurately, he makes us believe we are in a place we aren’t—like being abandoned by God in the midst of a trial. It isn’t true, but he wants us to believe it.
God never told us life would be without pain, but we expect it. And when we experience pain, our first inclination is to ask to be delivered from it rather than sustained through it. That’s a natural response, but it shouldn’t be—not for us as Christians.
As soon as I bowed my head and spoke one word, the name, “Jesus,” a flood of grace poured over me and I was able to feel again. I cried, I stopped feeling sorry for myself, opened the garage door and headed to work. My grief wasn’t over and It wasn’t easy, but it was possible.
Grief is a God-given response to loss and should not be avoided. Instead, it must be respected and observed. It doesn’t mean we wallow in it, making sure everyone knows how horrible or painful our lives are.
It means that we allow it to be a part of us for a period of time out of respect for what we are going through—especially for our loss. We heal—it just takes time. We have to allow God to perform His work in us.
If you ever think God has abandoned you or treated you unfairly, read Hebrews 13:5,
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
If Satan says God is not there, that He doesn’t care, quote that verse back to him and walk away—‘cause he’s a liar.
Question: Do you struggle with the road upon which God has placed you?