July 12, 2013 - Romance

Regardless of how you meet him, how are you supposed to know if he’s the guy for you?

Cocky guy, finding the right guy

It’s easier than you might think—but you have to be willing to do this.

I must confess that there was a time in my life (many years ago) when I was a car salesman. Part of our training was to recognize different categories of buyers.

One of those categories was the ‘emotional buyer.’  This refers to the person who falls in love with the car they can’t afford, or one they can’t safely drive, or perhaps one that just isn’t good for them.

This happens because they become emotional about their decision—they want that car regardless of the problems they see.

The same principle pertains to men. I don’t apologize for saying this, because it is not offensive to men of integrity. They find the men who prey on women just as offensive as you do.

So back to my original question—how do you pick the right guy? Here are some important warning signs that tell you it’s time to regroup:

  • He tells you he loves you on the first date.
    • He can say you’re pretty, or he likes your dress, but no love talk on day one. His mind is where it shouldn’t be. Go to the restroom and leave through the window.
  • He says he wants to fully express his love for you (physically).
    • This is code that he wants to have sex. If he really has feelings for you, he will happily wait (until you’re married to him). If you’re not married to him, dump him in a secluded area. If you have an iPhone, ask Siri where to dump him—she’ll tell you. Go ahead—try it.
  • He avoids having you meet his friends or family.
    • There can be legitimate reasons for this, but it often means he doesn’t trust what they may tell you about him, or he isn’t really that interested. In other words, he doesn’t consider you part of his group of friends.
    • If you aren’t sure it’s an issue, openly ask him about it. His answer will give you some helpful information—the way he answers will tell you even more.
  • He asks you for money
    • Although this seems as if it would be a no-brainer, this happens often. Part of the reason that women give money to men is because they trust them. These guys have managed to schmooze their way into a woman’s heart. The woman doesn’t think twice about the fact that she is being asked for money. She wants to help and be generous.
    • If this happens, have a frank discussion with him and do not give him money. It is disrespectful to you to even ask, and sets a dangerous precedent.
  • He is verbally harsh with you at times
    • Whether or not he apologizes makes no difference. If he is verbally harsh with you, it’s a warning sign. Do not ignore this.
    • Once he has won you over, it may very well become his ‘norm’. It’s a Huge red flag if he is treating you like anything other than his most prized possession. Forgive that word—you know what I mean.

Women are loving and kind and overlook a multitude of problems in their men. Some things should not be overlooked in the dating process. And don’t expect for anything to improve once you are married. As men we strive to grow and become better husbands every day, but if there are major problems going into the marriage, they’re not going to disappear once you walk down the aisle.

During the courtship days you have great opportunity to choose wisely. Use that to your advantage and end up with the right guy.

Ladies: If you have advice for other women, please leave your suggestions or questions in the Comment section below.

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