July 5, 2013 - Romance

You are diligently seeking the right man, but it’s a difficult process.

In the previous blog, we looked at some warning signs. Today, we’ll focus on the positive.

There are many good, Godly men of integrity who are far from boring. Some of the finest men I know are adventurous and passionate about the Lord and their wives.

How then do you find the good in a sea of not-so-good?

In the process of choosing your man, here are some things to look for that are indicators you probably don’t want to kick this one to the curb.

  • He is a Christ follower
    • This is a must. I feel strongly that for a man to be the husband women are looking for, he must know the Lord and spend ongoing time with Him.
  • He treats you like a lady—like you’re better than him
    • Should be a no-brainer—but it’s not. Many women tolerate less—don’t. The big things are important, but look for the little ones too, like helping in the kitchen, buying you flowers, and opening your door. This shows that his feelings for you are deep in his subconscious, not just for show.
  • He doesn’t compromise
    • In a world where compromise is a part of life in business, finance and dating, a man who won’t accept a mistake made in his favor at the checkout line is rare. He should at least get some points for this. It indicates that his moral compass is independent from that of the world—a major plus.
  • He insists on paying for everything
    • This guy would never accept money from you, let alone ask you for it. I am very traditional, which is different from being ‘old fashioned’. He should pay especially during the dating years. He is courting and pursuing you—don’t water that down, make him lead.
  • He volunteers to help others
    • A man who thinks of the needs of others, thinks less about himself. An important characteristic for any man, which carries over into all of life.
  • He listens
    • Although most men want to fix whatever is bothering the woman in their life, listening is often more important. That being said, some men won’t take the time to listen. This can be a sign that he is self-absorbed, but not necessarily. It may take time for some men to open up. Give him a little grace here. But if he seems disinterested—that’s not a favorable mindset.
  • He has a good sense of humor
    • According to, when women say they want a man with a good sense of humor, they mean one that makes them laugh. When men say they want a woman with a good sense of humor, they mean someone who laughs at their jokes. Regardless of the perspective, a good sense of humor appears to be statistically more important than physical appearance.

There is not a secret formula for choosing the right guy, but knowing what to look for helps.

If he is not pursuing you, don’t pursue him. He’s not the right one.

Ladies: If you have advice for other women, please leave your suggestions or questions in the Comment section below.


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