Romance is fleeting, elusive, and forbidden to most—according to the world.

You can read about it in a book, or watch it in a movie, but you can’t have it. Here’s the good news.

Contrary to what the media says, romance is a gift from God to you.

He created it, He wants you to have it, and He blesses it when it’s proper. I am speaking of appropriate love, not premarital or extramarital sex—both are Satan’s substitute for what God intended.

The world would have us believe romance refers to infatuation between lovers regardless of marriage. That wasn’t God’s design. True marriage, in which a husband loves his wife more than himself is Godly. When both the husband and wife think more of each other than they do of themselves, success is inevitable.

We can do this. Often we don’t, but we can—and should. True romance requires God at the center. For that reason, an affair leaves it’s victims empty and filled with remorse. I have never seen an exception to this. It’s a matter of time before it destroys everything.

Counterfeit romance that we see on the big screen and steamy novels pales in comparison to what God designed.

Since the union between a husband and wife is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with his bride the Church, we must be committed and sacrificial. That sounds like work—it is. That is how God designed it to be.

The payoff is extreme, exciting, crazy-romantic love. Everybody wants that, even tough guys—especially tough guys.

A young man recently said, “When I get to Heaven, I’ll be able to play the piano because we’ll be able to do anything there, and I’ve always wanted to play the piano.”

I disagree with him. I have no scripture on which to base my theory, but it would not surprise me if, once I get to Heaven, I will have to learn to play the piano if I want to play at all.

After all, how are we made? God gives us a sense of accomplishment when we work hard. It may be building a home, composing a symphony, or painting a sunset. Even laboring to plant a tree refreshes one’s spirit.

The momentary joy we may experience from instant, unlearned abilities does not compare to the fulfillment we gain from accomplishment. We need accomplishment—God instilled within us the desire to work. I doubt it will be different in Heaven.

In the same manner, marriage is good when we work at it. It’s not instant or easy, but it’s worth it.

If your marriage seems lackluster and boring—change it. There’s nothing wrong with spicing things up. Here are some suggestions.

• Bring her flowers
  • Yeah, you might think it’s silly, but it’s not. Is she allergic to flowers? Then bring something else she would like. You know what that is—or at least you should know.
• Sit with him
  • When he’s doing something you don’t care about, like watching football or a movie that’s not your favorite, sit next to him on the sofa, nice and close—real close. You know . . . that close.
• Go out to dinner
  • Not a movie unless you do that after you dine. You need to be face-to-face and talking with each other. She is sweet and fascinating—he is powerful and interesting. Get to know each other and stay connected.
  • If you don’t know what to talk about, or aren’t the talking kind—then listen. Be the best listener on the planet. But really, truly listen. If you do that, the talk will come.
• Be intimate . . . regularly and passionately
  • Don’t skip this. If you have kids around, get a sitter and spend the night somewhere else. It doesn’t cost a fortune and it’s worth it.
  • If you don’t have kids, still spend the night somewhere else. It’s fun to be out, and inhibitions decrease when you aren’t in your usual surroundings.
• Be intimate . . . yes–again

There is no magic wand when it comes to romance, but there are steps we can take to set the stage. It is God’s desire for us to be happy with our spouses. He wants us to enjoy marriage so we’ll understand here what will happen there.